“Rent a boat madam?’’ cried choruses of boat touts dotted along the canals. We were in Kerala, India. Famed for its stunning olive green backwaters, Ayurvedic medicine and treatments. I was enjoying myself. In fact I was loving Kerala. We had spent the previous three days in Fort Cochin getting reacquainted with some delicious Indian cuisine , being massaged into oblivion, soaking in the culture and seeing a fantastic martial arts show where I kid you not, the martial artists fight with daggers, swords and scary objects that could slice you in half. In fact two of them were bleeding by the end of the show and I moved six seats back after a stray sword came hurtling through the air towards me.
The portly narrator assured us the injured need not worry as they had some Ayurvedic medicine to sort them out and that they didn’t use modern medicine at all. Even if someone broke their arm it was herbs and a bit of Mr Miyagi hand rubbing. He also insisted the audience stop wearing deodorant and rub some leaves under their armpits. Despite the questionable personal hygiene advice It was truly incredible and reminiscent of a Bruce Lee fight scene . These guys need to be in the movies.