B*tches in Bookstores, a Witty Remix of Jay-Z & Kanye West’s Niggas in Paris

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With the irreversible changes in reading trends in this age of digital information becoming a disheartening yet certain reality, a song extolling the virtues of physical books and reading in general comes as a breath of fresh air for spine-loving purists.

A witty remix of Jay-Z and Kanye West’s Niggas in Paris, the song titled B*tches in Bookstores could well be the anthem for bookstores around the world.Performed by La Shea Delaney and Annabelle Quezada, this video is a must-watch for all book lovers. I have reproduced the song’s lyrics below for everyone to rap along with B*tches In Bookstores. Break a leg, folks!

(Annabelle)

Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta fine me­
They can’t identify me
Checked in with a pseudonym, so I guess you can say I’m Mark Twaining
Read so hard, I’m not lazy
Go on Goodreads, so much rated
Fountainhead on my just read, gave it four stars and then changed it
Read so hard I’m literary, Goosebumps series too scary!
Animal Farm, Jane Eyre, Barnes & Noble, Foursquare it
No TV, I read instead, got lotsa Bills, but not bread:
Burroughs, Golding, Shakespeare – all dead
Read so hard, got paper cuts on trains while you’re playin’ connect the dots
All these blisters from turning pages, read so hard, I’m seeing spots
Your sūdoku just can’t compare nor Angry Birds ‘cos lookit here
My Little Birds is getting stares………”This print’s rare.”
Read so hard, I memorize, The Iliad… I know lines
Watch me spit, classic lit, epic poems that don’t rhyme
War and Peace? Piece of cake, read Tolstoy in 3 days
Straight through, no delays, didn’t miss a word, not one phrase

[Hook]
Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta fine me
(That shit cray, that shit cray, that shit cray)

[La Shea]
He said “Shea can we get married at the Strand?”
His Friday Reads are bad so he can’t have my hand
You ball so hard, OK you’re bowling
But I read so hard, I’m JK Rowling
That shit cray, ain’t it, A? What you readin’?(de Montaigne)
You use a Kindle? I carry spines
Supporting bookshops like a bra, Calvin Klein
Nerdy boy, he’s so slow, Tuesday we started Foucault
He’s still stuck on the intro? He’s a no go
It’s sad I had to kick him out my house though
He mispronounced an author (Marcel Proust)
Don’t read in the dark, I highlight with markers
While laying in the park and wearing Warby Parkers
Marriage Plot broke my heart and it made me read Barthes
I special ordered a copy, a softcover not hard – HUH?!

[Interlude]

Belle: Good morning! I’ve come to return the book I borrowed!
Shopkeeper: Finished already?
Belle: Oh, I couldn’t put it down. You got anything new?

[Hook]

[Annabelle]
I am now marking my place, don’t wanna crease on my page
Don’t let me forget this page, don’t let me forget this page
I may forget where I left off so I’ll use this little Post-It
I hope that it stays sticky, I hope it doesn’t fall out

[La Shea]

I am now marking my place, don’t wanna crease on my page
Don’t let me forget this page, don’t wanna forget this page
I got bookmarks at home but I forgot one for the road
(I have a bookmark that I can loan) You know how many bookmarks I own?

[Both]

I am now marking my page
Don’t let me forget this page
Don’t let me forget this page
Don’t let me forget this page
Page!

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