Our lives begin, and through a combination of DNA, a selected gene pool and a wide open brain array, we absorb data from an unlimited variety of sources. We learn from everything and everyone – nature, people, what we see, hear, touch. The data collection starts and, if we are lucky, does not stop until we are no longer breathing.
Sometimes we think we know all because the facts are crystal clear to us. Perhaps that clarity of crystal is not as sharp as we believe. Perhaps we know more than we give ourselves credit for. Our knowledge base needs to be more than just facts about the galaxy, biology or long division. While it may be fun to know about ancestors way back, I do not need to know the pirates or kings or cobblers that dotted my family tree. What I want to know about are the people that I had a chance to touch and see.
I regret having large gaps in my knowledge of my personal heritage. These gaps are all about learning what happened that shaped some part of my parent’s and grandparent’s lives. No one ever gets to know all, I would have liked to know more. My point is not to focus on all the things I learned, rather what I failed to learn. So many opportunities to learn were overshadowed.
My parent’s parents (my Grandparents) came through Ellis Island to land in America. They came as children and young teenagers. I weep because I do not know their story. What was it like in their home country; why did they travel here; how did they feel about life in America; how did they learn English; what were their parents like? So many really good questions were never asked and never became part of any conversation. I do not blame the naivety of my youth nor do I blame my grandparents. The facts are what they are – a question not asked can never be answered.
Conversations with my Grandparents did not discuss my schoolwork, nor the New York Yankees, nor who should be President. By the time I was 19 finishing my freshmen college year, each of my Grandparents had died. My mother’s father died long before I was born. The time had passed for me to exhibit curiosity.
Today, I have embraced a goal to change this cycle of information gaps about lives gone by. I am an orphan and can no longer ask my parents any questions. I have children and young grandchildren that I will work very hard to listen to their stories. It would be wonderful for my reenergized curiosity to be exchanged and shared. This is not a time for lectures and workshops; it is a time for dialogue and fun sharing. It is a time for communication, dialogue, conversation, talking, emailing, picture sharing, opinion sharing and so on.
Family members need to exercise their innate curiosity about other family members. Certainly, medical history is one example of valuable information passed downward. Being curious also translates to knowing more. It is never intended to make folks like each other, tolerate better, or even force family gatherings at any predetermined frequency.
My hope is to leave behind for my family generations an unending curiosity for learning from everyone and sharing for all who come within reach. While standing on our own, never ignore the heritage that came before. It is not a heavy weight designed to make our life miserable. It is one significant way for us to value, appreciate and understand who we are.
Richard Oppenheim
Richard Oppenheim helps individuals and companies get better. His effort is to deliver short term actions that will serve as the foundation for achieving long term goals, such as getting unstuck. He maps what is desired with what can be accomplished and then help create a personal road map for going forward.
As a CPA, Richard was an early innovator of computer based resources. Over the years, his efforts have integrated lots of business processes, personal actions, technology resources and decision making. He has developed computer based professional education courses and co-founded a company providing on-line education courses covering the areas of security, management and control over IT operations.
As an adjunct professor at NYU’s Graduate School of Business, Richard served as a Director with NYU’s Management Decision Laboratory. He graduated from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and did post-graduate work at New York University.
His writing includes books, magazine columns, computer product reviews, feature articles, trade association pamphlets, book editing and ghostwriting.
His journey continues as he endeavors to guide and illuminate the path that others need to take.
