Day 05: Something happened midday today which wrenched my heart. Stopped it a few beats and rained in it as a wave of compassion filled me. What should have been a normal event such as a package delivered to my home brought the reality even closer. A simple delivery man in a well decorated uniform rang the bell, the dog barked, I’m inconvenienced as I was on a work related call. He came to the door I signed, and greeted him; package reached its destination. In the moment I made small talk.
In Japanese I said, “Wow, I’m surprised you are delivering today.” He responded “Yes, work is work.” He nodded in a routine bow. Then I asked him “How are things for you during the earthquake? Are you ok, is your family all ok…?” He stopped blankly then a heavy frown appeared. He said to me “My family are in Miyagi (the city with an estimated death toll in excess of 10,000), I can’t reach them, I have not heard from them, I don’t know what is happening…” He then bowed very deeply and humbly at a very steep angle. He kept saying “Sumimasen, sumimasen” which means I’m sorry, I apologize, excuse me for inconveniencing you with my sad news.
I can’t count how many bows or how many times he said this. I told him no need to say sorry and that it is terrible, I hope they are all safe. I told him that I was very sad to hear this, very sad. He received my sympathetic gesture then an uncomfortable silence. I bowed to him as well and he turned abruptly and walked hastily down side stairs. It’s hard to imagine but I can understand what he’s doing. He can’t control what’s happening. There is no way or access to the north for him. Phones are down, all he has is the TV news. He’s doing what he can and going about with ordinary things while being as reserved as possible.
It’s very Japanese and this catastrophe says a lot about the character of this nation. In the midst of calamity, people here have not rioted, looted, claimed being disenfranchised, the news media have been reserved and not sensationalizing, and politicians have not bickered. When instructions are given, people here collectively follow and keep order. It’s all about respect and honoring those around you. It’s about not making a scene and not raising unnecessary uneasiness for the whole.
The discipline to control and contain one’s self and emotions contribute to the harmony of society as a whole. It’s Bushido. In the strangest way this seems to work here as evident by how this horrific event is managed. Right now the focus is to save lives, control the reactors, and keep social calm. The times are indeed bad that there even has been no time for a moment of silence or to mourn the dead. I’m moved, I’m affected, and I’m proud to be among these good people. Sure there are bad points of the day, worrisome, dark, uncertain, and we are not getting the information we feel that we need. But there’s really not much we can do until we can all understand what’s happening.
Things don’t seem to cease. This week, as I was sitting down we had another earthquake. It was inland and now south of Tokyo measuring 6. No threat of a tsunami but the shaking rocked my apartment. We’ve packed evacuation bags, documents, water, food, flashlights, and essentials. Now it’s getting serious. First a quake hits just north of here, now south.
Somewhere in the middle lies us. Keep calm, stay on track, plan wisely, and don’t be hysterical. It’s the way people are here.You may noticed this as you see reports, interviews, or know people with family here. You may think we are stoic here, too reserved, but understand that it’s for a reason and it’s the way here. One thing however I’ve come to realize is in these days is that the one emotion that can’t be contained is compassion. If things get worse, I will in a dignified manner make sure those here I care about reach a safer place. More flowers in the darkness in tonight’s image.
Linh Vien Thai is Amerasian, born in Dalat, South Vietnam, where he continued to lived during the war. He left for the U.S. and is now an American living in Tokyo. He enjoys adventure traveling and doing what’s right to make the world a better place.
