The political sideshow of Rod Blagojevich has finally petered out into a somewhat conclusive finale. Found guilty on just 1 out of 24 penalties, Rod lives to fight another day. You just can’t keep this guy down.
I know I’m hardly the first to weigh in on the trashy glamour of this disgraced ex-governor, but I feel that now, after two weeks of deliberation, the analysis and reactions will pour in more steadily than ever. No doubt we’ll look back on this saga at some stage and shake our heads at the amount of money invested in pointing out the obvious: Blago is something of a scoundrel.
There is little doubt that when it comes to greased-palm political dealings and expletive-laden rants, Blago is not a rookie. However, his somewhat ingenious defense strategy in federal court was predicated on the insistence that Rod himself didn’t have the capacity to organize such elaborate schemes. The sad part is, the populace of the Prairie State was swept away by his charm in 2002. We elected the man after all. He didn’t have a tough act to follow, though, his predecessor being a convicted felon as well. All Blago and his party needed to do was convince the public that he was a far cry from that shifty system of political back-dealings. But I guess we live and learn, huh?
To think that we were largely duped by the false candor and impressive moptop hairdo is enough to make even the most cynical citizens gag. I’m sure their reactions were something akin to that feeling when, in the cold light of day, a person wakes up alongside some wheezing, waxy degenerate who, by all accounts, looked like a million bucks the night before. Illinois is no stranger to the regrettable scag of political hangovers.
But in regards to the ex-gov’s enduring presence among the media and the minds of Illinoisans, his legacy needn’t be entirely negative. We still have the laughter. Second City (Chicago’s foremost comedy company) did a rendition of the Blago saga. The memoir is being rushed into publication. The made-for-TV movie is in the works, I’m sure. For years to come, many residents of Lincoln’s fair land will associate that impressive coiffure of jet-black hair with unbridled corruption. Maybe we can still catch glimpses of the beleaguered ex-gov, clad in a tracksuit and cordially waving over his shoulder, as he’s frozen in a graffiti stencil alongside buildings and train cars. For my part, I’ll smile and remember the good times. And his endearing summer song, the anthem of this frenzied trial that captivated the nation, will live on in my heart:
(to the tune of ‘I Get Around’ by the Beach Boys)
I’m Rod Rod Rod Rod I’m Blago Rod
Cuz I’m Rod Rod Rod Rod I’m Blago Rod
I’m getting bugged trying to solicit a real cool trip,
Yeah you gotta show me cash if you wanna be hip,
Well the Northwest side really can’t be beat,
But I gotta get some money for this senate seat,
Now I got myself some really fancy threads,
But my phone’s being tapped by the g@&damn feds!
Cuz I’m Rod Rod Rod Rod I’m Blago Rod
Yeah I’m Rod Rod Rod Rod I’m Blago Rod…
Rory Keane is an American-born teacher and writer who has logged nearly two years in China, and is working on another year-long stint in the Middle Kingdom. He writes about travel, sociopolitical issues, health, entertainment, and culture, among other topics.
