Lesson number 1: let others impress you rather than you focusing on “me me me.” In other words, listen to the inbound dialogue, engage and respond rather than having it all be about your own pitch.
Number 2: you can’t have intimacy without vulnerability. You need to be present and let go – you need to show a little vulnerability and not try to be so polished and perfect. People can’t connect with you when you’re being perfect. The same goes for relationships online. It’s okay to ask for help on Twitter, but be real in your ask.
Principal number 3: Remember that people want to be challenged, not changed. No one wants to date a doormat; most of us want to be stimulated and challenged. It’s important to understand the difference between challenging someone and changing them. When you are having a conversation with someone, ask yourself – are you trying to change their opinion or change them or are you offering your opinion?
In the online world, the same is true. People love provocative conversations on Twitter – a debate online is ‘magic,’ but the moment someone gets mean or angry, it’s the end of the conversation. People stop listening and engaging at that point. Remember, you can challenge someone online without undermining their position.
Principal number 4: don’t confuse immediate gratification with long term fulfillment. This is obviously a lesson in life too. She refers to Aristotle on this one. Don’t be distracted by material things, power or money when you’re engaging with people, on or offline. Ask yourself, am I being brought to my highest potential with the person I’m engaging with? This is where an effective relationship starts.
Am I a good version of myself when I’m with the person I’m engaging with, relating to, IN a relationship with? If you focus on superficial measures of success, it’s only going to give you short term superficial gratification, not sustainable success or happiness.
Effective relationships start with you – stop complaining and start creating. In other words, BE the audience you want to create. How does the story start and end? You can’t control how everyone reacts, but you can only create how you react. Andrea ends with this statement and passing advice: “To be effective in relationships, you have to be authentic – on and offline, and in life and in love.”
Renee Blodgett is the founder of We Blog the World. The site combines the magic of an online culture and travel magazine with a global blog network and has contributors from every continent in the world. Having lived in 10 countries and explored nearly 80, she is an avid traveler, and a lover, observer and participant in cultural diversity.
She is also the CEO and founder of Magic Sauce Media, a new media services consultancy focused on viral marketing, social media, branding, events and PR. For over 20 years, she has helped companies from 12 countries get traction in the market. Known for her global and organic approach to product and corporate launches, Renee practices what she pitches and as an active user of social media, she helps clients navigate digital waters from around the world. Renee has been blogging for over 16 years and regularly writes on her personal blog Down the Avenue, Huffington Post, BlogHer, We Blog the World and other sites. She was ranked #12 Social Media Influencer by Forbes Magazine and is listed as a new media influencer and game changer on various sites and books on the new media revolution. In 2013, she was listed as the 6th most influential woman in social media by Forbes Magazine on a Top 20 List.
Her passion for art, storytelling and photography led to the launch of Magic Sauce Photography, which is a visual extension of her writing, the result of which has led to producing six photo books: Galapagos Islands, London, South Africa, Rome, Urbanization and Ecuador.
Renee is also the co-founder of Traveling Geeks, an initiative that brings entrepreneurs, thought leaders, bloggers, creators, curators and influencers to other countries to share and learn from peers, governments, corporations, and the general public in order to educate, share, evaluate, and promote innovative technologies.
