Andrew Tyson Plays at The Duplex (Photo: Bob Knorpp)
Let’s just be honest here: Piano bars in New York are for gay men and for women. You can hardly ever find a good piano bar that isn’t flying rainbow colors and filled with homages to gay icons of musical theater. And every time I’m invited to go to one of these establishments, there is always that awkward moment where my friend looks uncomfortable before saying, “But it’s a gay bar. I hope that’s all right with you.”
So let’s just get all this out of the way. If you’re a straight guy and you like piano bars, get the hell comfortable with your sexuality already. Having gone with friends to a number of such venues, and having spent hours singing along, I can honestly say I have never been hit-on by a man. I’m not really sure what that says about me, but the long and the short of it is that piano bars are not pick-up zones. They are places where people go in groups to enjoy great playing and even more amazing singing. So get over yourself.
Also, don’t fear the musical theater vibe. Liking a good rock ballad or singing along with a classic show tune does not make “the gay” rub off on you. Last time I checked, your sexual orientation is unaffected by singing a jazz standard. Just go, be polite and sing along. And seriously, I really do mean be polite. No raucous displays of “I’m-Not-Gay” roughhousing. That stuff just makes people think you’re in the closet anyway.
Finally, don’t forget that unlike many bars where you mix people together with nothing in common, and the young men divide into packs to take down the females, this is exactly the opposite. Everyone is there to appreciate music and everyone feels connected. So while I wouldn’t suggest a piano bar is the perfect place to meet that special someone, the odds certainly are better. And as a straight guy, the odds are even more in your favor, since your competition is dramatically reduced. Just sayin’.
So where should you get started? My personal suggestion is Brandy’s on the Upper East Side at 235 East 84th Street. The venue is small and intimate and the crowd they attract is sophisticated. The performers are also amazing, making for a great time all around.
Another, solid choice would be The Duplex at 61 Christopher at 7th Avenue. The atmosphere here has a lot of character. It’s a great venue to kick back with friends and listen to amazing music any time of day. Plus, if you’re feeling more adventurous, they have a complete cabaret theater on the second floor.
So straight guys, embrace your inner piano man. He won’t think you’re gay either.
Robert Knorpp is host of The BeanCast Marketing Podcast at thebeancast.com and is President of The Cool Beans Group, a marketing strategy consultancy based in New York City. He likes laughing even more than breathing. You can follow the madness on Twitter at twitter.com/BobKnorpp.
