Pardon me if your Afrikaans is not up to deciphering the above headline (mine isn’t) but there’s something about to happen in my home village that brings out the klein bietjie boereseun (little bit of farmer boy) in me.
Stand back Hatmense, I’m about to announce South Africa’s Barn Dance of the Year! Jami and Peter Kastner of Stanford Hills Estate make one of the country’s most stunning pinotages which goes under the name of Jackson’s Pinotage.
They also make a hell of a barn dance. This moerse opskop (one hell of a knees-up) is happening in the flower shed at their Weltevreden Farm on Saturday night. But you can pick up the details on the poster which is pinned up on almost every tree around town…
Yes, you're liking the look of this already, aren't you? Feet twitching?
Don’t fight it. Just relax into this whole phenomenal vibe, babies. You’ll want those feet warmed up so that you can hit the sawdust bouncing and ready to slide into some serious langarm or however it is you deploy to cut up the floor at a barn dance.
There are some tickets left but only because the Kastner’s flower shed was previously used to house 43 tractors, a Boeing, a few wheelbarrows and a medium sized aircraft-carrier. So there’s room for you if you’re late to clock on to this one.
Now, what the poster omits to tell you is that the legendary Baardskeerderbos Orkes will be strumming up a vibe second to none on the night. You do know what this means, don’t you? OK. This means that those exceedingly trendy boots that you’ve been mincing around in this winter will have the soles worn off them just in time for spring.
Die Baardskeerdersbos Orkes will ensure that you'll be too sore to hit the gym for a week Pic: Annalize Mouton
Because we’re not talking polite jiggery-pokery with more poke than jig at a Cape Town nightclub here, brothers and sisters. This barn dance speaks only the language of off-the-charts opskoppery not witnessed since that last really embarrassing dancefloor episode of yours at cousin Bernoldus’s birthday bash.
Yes. That’s the level we’re pitched at. Every move attempted, no prisoners taken. And, if the 120 ront spitbraai option is a tad too steep for your recession-ravaged piggybank, then I can reveal that R60 will get you in at the door with boerie rolls on offer at a tenner each. So, you’ve got no excuse, have you?
Mooi, man. Sien julle daar!
* Those contact details again… to book (essential for the R120 spitbraai option), call Jami on 082-897 2390 or e-mail her at j…@stanfordhills.co.za. Oh, and there’s no need for you to be picked up dronk-op-straat or dronk-op-plaas or dronk-op-jou-rug… a shuttle will operate from and to Stanford at R10 a ride. Visit Stanford Hills Estate to get the lay of the land.
Fred Hatman (AKA Howard Donaldson) knew he wanted to be newspaper journalist at age 13. He has worked as a reporter and sub-editor for the Daily News and Cape Times, both based in South Africa and Wimbledon News, Today, London Daily News, The Guardian, The Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mirror, all based in London .
