Hostile Hostels

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I hate hostels.

I hate the shirtless, guitar-toting Canadian that wouldn’t shut up about flowing lines in modern art. I hate the naked Danish guy that stared at us at 2 a.m. while we made our beds. I hate the “dude”-saying Brit who sprayed Axe in my face at eight in the morning. I hate the U-shaped, mildew-covered nightmare of a mattress in Bratislava. I hate being mildly electrocuted from faulty wiring in Poznan. I hate 10 a.m. checkouts and single-key dorms and cold showers. I hate it all.

Almost.

I don’t hate the great people like the Portugirls in Lisbon, those dozen Australians in Salzburg (I insisted on calling the blond one Claire), the Fado/Port tour group in Porto, etc.  The people we meet are usually great, but the facilities are sometimes not.

After the exceptionally disgusting night in Bratislava (i.e. U-shaped nightmare), we decided to upgrade our accommodations for Prague. I turned to HostelWorld to assess our options. Several stood out, but I kept coming back to a newly opened joint called the Mosaic House.  We sprung for a private for our first night.

This place is ridiculous. Power outlets for each bed, climate control for each room, door locks and keys, en suite bathrooms, cloud-like mattresses, silky smooth sheets, towels, towel warmers, hot showers— this place has it all. There is even a stage for live music in the bar. It’s the fanciest 4-star hotel hostel I’ve ever seen.

I would, however, stop short of saying Mosaic House is a good hostel. It is very comfortable, and we were glad to have a little luxury after a string of disappointments. In my opinion, hostels should have character, encourage interaction among the guests, and represent some of the local culture. Mosaic House is a little sterile. I felt like I could be anywhere.

Mosaic House also boasts many “green” innovations like gray water recycling and motion-sensing lights. Now, I have no problem with conservation, but I would rather not have to wave my arms wildly to keep from showering in the dark. On several occasions, we were simply sitting in our room and the window blinds would inexplicably rise and then lower again.  What’s with that?

Their common room has a projector and trendy shag carpet, but I wouldn’t say it was a good common room.  Floor plan plays a big part.  Lisbon Chillout‘s common room was in the middle of the hostel.  You had to pass through it to go to the kitchen or bathroom.  You couldn’t help but bump into other guests, and it got everyone talking.  Did it have rain shower heads?  Hell no.  You could barely even fit inside the showers, but we still liked it.

Belushi’s Bar at Mosaic House had a stage for live bands, an impressive beer selection, and a pretty tasty breakfast, but I wouldn’t say it was a good bar.  The dimly lit bar at YoHo International Youth Hostel in Salzburg had cigarette-burned curtains and one beer on draught.  However, the bar tender was friendly and the drinks were cheap.  This is where we drank with the dozen Australians ’til 4 a.m. (see above).

I like atmosphere.  I like meeting new people.  I like changing scenery.  I like feeling like I’m traveling.  I like it all.

Almost.

Posted from: Warsaw, Poland

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