Promiscuity is nothing more than traveling
There’s more than one way to see the world
And some of us like to stick close to home
And some of us are Columbus
What can I say?
-Ani DiFranco, “Promiscuity”
I’ve traveled “home” to St. Louis this Thanksgiving for the first time, well, ever. The last time I was with my family on Turkey Day was in 2002, the year before I moved away for college. Better late than never though, right?
Today, I’m incredibly thankful that I’m able to see my entire family later I’m in the afternoon. When I’m roaming the globe, however, my gratitude flows for something less wholesome: A smartphone app known as “Grindr.”
If you’re a gay “Christopher Columbus” type and like to “sample the local flavor” — I detail some of my experiences doing this in articles about the men-folk of Brazil and Israel — you absolutely must download this wondrous mess of code onto your Android, BlackBerry or iPhone.
How to Download Grindr and Get Started
Getting Grindr onto your smartphone is easy, whether you use an Android or iPhone. Simply launch the application store for the platform you use — for Android, this is the “Android Marketplace” and BlackBerry has “BlackBerry App World,” while iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch users just tap the “AppStore” icon, search for Grindr and wait for the free app to install on your device.
Upon launching Grindr, you’ll be prompted to upload a single, G-rated picture — you can exchange images of a naughtier sort once you get a chat started. You’ll also have the opportunity to input basic profile details, including your stats, a headline and a short blurb about yourself.
Grindr is a GPS-enabled, location-based app, so it automatically logs your position whenever you log in. The app’s splash screen is a mess of thumbnail photos, which show guys near your current position in order of how close or far away they are, relatively to you.
On the Hunt
I first begun using Grindr in October when I was in Madrid, frustrated from the lack of success I was having using some of the more traditional methods I detailed in an earlier article about traveling as a gay man. Within a minute, I heard several “pops” coming out of my iPhone’s speaker, which indicated interested guys had sent me messages.
Unlike old-school sites like Manhunt and GayRomeo, Grindr doesn’t impose a limitation on the number of messages you can send or the amount of media you can transfer. Take advantage of this freedom and get to know as much as possible about your potential lay before you meet him!
Tapping a guy’s thumbnail takes you to a private chat interface, where you can exchange messages, photos — this is where you show your you-know-what, if you’re into that — and even a map showing your location. If a green circle appears on the thumbnail, it means he’s currently online, or at least Grindr believes him to be.
If he appears on the screen but without a green circle, he’s been online recently but is idle. Just tap the picture to see his profile, which states how recently he was actively using the app. If a guy doesn’t get back to you instantly, don’t take it personally: He may not have Grindr open on his device at all. Another error that sometimes occurs is that a guys displays as being in your city when he’s not.
The Pocket Navigator
Once you’ve decided you want to meet a guy, the person who’s hosting — unless you choose to meet in a public place, if that makes you more comfortable — sends a map of his location, which shows you his exact position. What the map doesn’t provide the guest with is the host’s address, or the opportunity to chart a route there.
For this reason, I recommend sending or requesting not only a location, but also a street address and, if necessary, apartment number. I usually plug the address into Google Maps to get directions from wherever my “Current Location” is. Since I normally don’t have cellular data service abroad, I study my course carefully before I leave.
The cool thing about Google Maps (on an iPad, iPhone or iPod Touch, anyway) is that as long as you make the map while connected to Wi-Fi and don’t close out of the app, it lets you track your location relative to your destination as you make your way to your suitor-in-waiting.
Tips, Tricks and Safety
As is the case whenever planning to meet a stranger off the Internet, use your best judgment about someone and go with your gut feeling. If even one thing someone says or a single one of his pictures doesn’t sit well with you, don’t bother going to meet him or inviting him to your place: Peacing out of an undesirable hookup is much more awkward than simply avoiding it in the first place.
Although it’s always a good idea to ask someone about his HIV status and whether he’s free of STDs, people can and do lie, so you should always protect yourself. If you don’t, you may bring more back from your trip than fond memories and overpriced souvenirs.
Use particular caution when using Grindr in a country where homosexuality is frowned upon or illegal, such as those I mentioned in my article about gay travel in Muslim countries. Although it isn’t common, I have heard stories about low enforcement agencies creating fake Grindr accounts to lure naïve foreigners into meeting, only to be arrested. Unless you had previously met someone in one of these countries, arrange to meet him in public and do your best to scope him out before he notices you.
Speaking of repeat meetings, Grindr makes that easy. Simply tap the “star” icon within someone’s profile to add him to your favorites list, which causes his profile to display at the top of the Grindr screen, no matter where in the world you are.
Why I Love Grindr
My favorite thing about Grindr is how casual and discreet an affair it makes meeting local men for a good time. Although I’m not personally bothered by some peoples’ opinions about the morality of casual sex, using Grindr allows you to experience what I consider to be an integral part of each destination you visit without having to be harassed or shamed by anyone from it.
Grindr’s being so easy allows you to be more at ease before, during and after the deed, something that in my experience anyway has led to drinks, dates and even romantic nights together in the wake of hook ups. I maintain contact with several of the guys I’ve met abroad, which ranges from international sexting, to a guaranteed place to stay the next time I return — and in a couple cases, a mutual desire for “something more” if the stars happen to align and we find ourselves living near one another.
Grindr is one of the things I’m most thankful for as a gay traveler. If you haven’t downloaded it yet, install it on your Android, BlackBerry or iPhone and give it a spin. If you don’t love it, deleting it is as simply as tapping twice on your screen. If you do love it like I love, tell me about your experience in a comment or email.
Robert Schrader is a travel writer and photographer who’s been roaming the world independently since 2005, writing for publications such as “CNNGo” and “Shanghaiist” along the way. His blog, Leave Your Daily Hell, provides a mix of travel advice, destination guides and personal essays covering the more esoteric aspects of life as a traveler.
